


I come home after

by CaptainSif



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fire Fam (9-1-1), Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Online Dating, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSif/pseuds/CaptainSif
Summary: After a while of being single, Buck wants to put himself back out there and tries online dating.Eddie is a supportive best friend... but it gets harder with every date Buck goes on.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 47
Kudos: 344
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wolves_of_Innistrad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolves_of_Innistrad/gifts).



> Hey Wolfie!  
> I hope you like this little fic I wrote for you :)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Much thanks to the people who beta'ed for me that I will mention in the end notes as to not give my identity away before you read it. When the creators are revealed, I'll move you guys here instead :)
> 
> The title is inspired by OneRepublic's "Start Again", although the context of the line in the song got nothing to do with the context of the title in the fic.

“What’s up, Buck? You look fidgety,” Eddie couldn’t help but remark when the two of them were changing in the locker room at the end of their shift.

Buck sighed, collapsing on the bench and looking up at his best friend, “I’ve got a date tonight.”

Eddie shot him an inquisitive look, “Are you nervous?”

Buck glared at him as if to say _duh_ , before elaborating, “I haven’t gone on a date in quite some time and my last two relationships ended kinda badly for me. Emotionally. And I guess that makes me feel kinda terrified?” His face changed to vulnerable halfway through, seeming to search for something on Eddie’s face. Validation of his concerns, Eddie guessed. “I mean,” Buck continued, “I want to start dating again but… now that the date is so close, I just feel... “

“Like it’s too much?” Eddie proposed.

“Yeah,” Buck exhaled.

“Look,” Eddie sat down next to him, cautiously bumping their shoulders against each other, “it’s only a first date. Just go, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to follow it up with a second date. It’s simple, first dates are there for that. There’s no strings attached yet.”

Buck sighed again, admitting that Eddie’s right. 

“How did you meet her anyway?” Eddie asked teasingly in an attempt to lighten Buck’s mood.

“Oh, um.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes as Buck lifted his arm to scratch at his neck.

“OKCupid?” Buck fluttered his lashes sheepishly at his best friend, startling a laugh out of Eddie.

“Hey!” Buck shouted mock-affrontedly, “OKCupid has detailed profiles which allow you to make an informed judgment on whether you want to date them or not.”

Eddie lifted his arms placatingly, “I didn’t judge.”

The other man leveled him with a glare. Eddie laughed again.

Softer, with a smile tugging at his lips, he added, “Tell me how it went afterwards.” 

“Will do.” Buck clapped his thighs, proclaiming, “Ok, I can do this.” before standing up and leaving the locker room, Eddie’s eyes following him, the soft smile never faltering.

The last thing Eddie expected that evening was to get a text message from Buck just shortly after bringing Christopher to bed.

He checked the time, thinking to himself that there was no way his date was already over.

Nevertheless, the message read, “Can I come over?” sending a cold shower down Eddie’s spine. His mind already racing to the worst possible scenarios, he answered with a quick “yes” before spending the time it takes Buck to arrive in his driveway pacing in the living room.

Hearing the car roll up in front of the house, Eddie opened the door before Buck had even finished parking.

Noticing his best friend standing in the door, Buck smiled, striding over.

“Can’t wait to hear what I got to say about my date?” he teased, and Eddie relaxed.

“Your date is already over?”

Buck passed him, making his way towards the couch and waited there for Eddie to join him.

When both of them were sitting, Buck leaned into the cushions, seemingly exhausted blinking up at Eddie.

“Were you worried about me?” Buck asked, surprise coloring his voice but a teasing glint in his eyes.

Eddie blushed, “You were supposed to be on a date and asked me if you could come over! What was I supposed to think?”

Buck chuckled, “Relax. Dinner was nice but… we didn’t really hit it off, so we left shortly after. And you asked for updates, so here I am.”

“You gonna continue using OKCupid then?”

Buck shrugged, “It’ll only be a first date, right?”


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie couldn’t help but notice the way Buck became fidgety and jittery before every one of his OKCupid dates. None of them worked out enough for Buck to consider a second date, and Eddie wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

While Buck did not seem to shy away from going on further dates, he still seemed to be just as nervous as the first time, maybe even more, and Eddie thought this whole dating app thing might not be better for Buck emotionally than his last two relationships were.

The others in the team started to notice too, although still missing the reason behind it.

“What’s up with you, son?” Bobby asked over dinner causing Buck to look like a deer in headlights.

“Have a date tonight?” Eddie teased.

“Yeah,” Buck drawled out.

“Oooh!” Hen cooed, “Who is the lucky woman?”

“Um, I’m actually trying out the whole dating app thing,” Buck shrugged, “You never know.”

“Still using OKCupid?” Eddie asked, making the surprised gapes of their team members shift from the blond man to himself.

“I’m actually going out with a tinder date today.”

Chimney whistled. “Isn’t that the one only used for hookups though?”

“Yeah,” Eddie added, “what happened to _making an informed opinion based on detailed profiles_?”

Buck lifted his hand to scratch his neck, “Well, _I_ am not planning to hook up, and it’s not _exclusively_ used for one night stands.”

Their teammates grinned and Buck rolled his eyes.

“Stop judging me,” he pouted, “ _I’m trying._ ”

“Chim was right,” Buck announced as soon as Eddie opened the door in front of him, passing him to plop down on the couch.

“You want something to drink?” Eddie called over, closing the door.

“Yes please,” Buck … _whined_.

When Eddie joins him in the living room, he immediately notices Buck looking much more dejected than after his normal dates.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked, setting their drinks on the coffee table, lifting Buck’s legs to make room for him on the couch.

Buck seemed to ponder if he does, but ultimately sighed, “Chim was right.”

Eddie watched his best friend carefully.

“I shouldn’t have used tinder. She --“ he gulped and Eddie feared he might be close to tears, “she was, in fact, only there for a hookup, and I -- Eddie, I can’t.”

Buck made a choked up sound and Eddie, in an impulse to comfort him, started massaging his ankles that were still laying on his lap.

“I can’t go back to being Buck 1.0, I can’t --“ Buck continued, “I’m afraid that if I give in to one casual hook up I’ll be falling back into my addiction. I don’t want that. I’m -- I’m better now, I don’t want to throw that away.”

The two of them stayed that way: Buck lying on the couch, crying, and Eddie massaging his ankles. Both taking comfort in the other’s presence.


	3. Chapter 3

“Another date today?” Bobby asked Buck amused as he was leaving the locker room.

Eddie looked up to see his best friend having just showered and wearing a nice dress shirt and dark jeans.

Buck smiled sheepishly, “I guess so.”

“Tinder or OKCupid?” Chim called from above teasingly, causing the three of them to look up to where he and Hen were leaning on the railing.

“Grindr actually,” Buck replied confidently.

_This is a good development_ , Eddie thought, _the jittering is finally gone_.

“Oh, sick of the girls, now onto the boys?” Hen teased and Buck grinned back.

“Bold of you to assume I ever excluded men in the first place.”

With these words, he left, and Eddie couldn’t help but stare after him slightly longer than normal.

When Buck didn’t appear at his place before 10, Eddie got anxious. 

Logically, he knew that that probably meant that Buck’s date was going well and he should be happy about that but…

They’ve made it a routine somehow. Buck’s dates never went long, and he always stopped by at Eddie’s place after that and, well, now that Buck wasn’t there yet, Eddie realised he came to depend on it.

He wouldn’t admit to it (because who would like to admit to secretly wishing their best friend’s dates would not go well) but _yes, for God’s sake_ every time Buck was going on a date, Eddie was looking forward to the time he spends at his place afterwards.

He should have realised, if he thought about it at all really, that at one point one of Buck’s dates would go well, and their little routine would stop.

He just, he hadn’t been prepared for the reality of it.

The longer Buck stayed away the more Eddie’s thoughts tumbled into a spiral. Because if Buck finding a girlfriend, or, in this case apparently, a boyfriend, meant he had to give up this routine, what others was he about to give up?

Eddie jumped when the doorbell rang, and he practically sprinted towards the door, hoping it would be Buck.

His hand on the door knob, he caught himself and stopped for a few seconds to regain his composure. Breathe deeply in and out.

He shouldn’t let Buck know how much this long date had freaked him out.

Buck was his best friend, he reminded himself, he wouldn’t leave him behind for a new partner. He would make time for both of them. He had nothing to be afraid of. They were gonna be fine.

Why didn’t he feel like that though?

Remembering himself, Eddie opened the door and, surely enough, was greeted by the sight of Buck’s smiling face.

Eddie made a show of taking a look at his watch and sporting a grin that would not fully reach his eyes. “Nice date, huh?”

Buck shrugged, a blush colouring his cheeks, he ducked his head, “It was ok, I guess.”

“Can I come in?” he added when Eddie made no move to step from the door.

“Yeah, sure.”

The two men settled down on the couch again, and Eddie could not help but realise how Buck didn’t really talk about the date he just came back from. Buck looked relaxed though, and this, together with his insecurities, kept him from asking about it.

He just enjoyed the time they spent lounging on the couch together, secretly musing that he’d like these shared evenings (and, who was he kidding, _everything_ )to stay this way forever.


	4. Chapter 4

“Bumble?” Eddie asked, looking over Buck’s shoulder to see the app open on his phone.

Across from them, Hen and Chimney glanced up surreptitiously.

“Is that the one where the women have to make the first move?” Chim asked.

“So it is back to women then?” Hen added teasingly.

Eddie couldn’t place the slight sting in his stomach.

“I thought the last date went well?” he sat down next to Buck, watching a blush creep up on his face.

“Ooh!” Chim reacted, grinning wickedly. “What is it you’re not telling us?”

He was met with a glare and Eddie was confused.

Ok, they hadn’t really talked about the last date. But Buck had stayed out longer than with the other dates, he looked more relaxed, he -- Eddie had taken that as a sign that there might be a second date.   
Now that he’s thinking about it…

“Are you afraid of following it up with another date?” Eddie asked. “Afraid of being hurt again?”

“It’s not," Buck sighed, “it’s not that the last date wasn’t nice, I just realised he’s not what I’m looking for.”

_A man_ , Eddie’s brain helpfully supplies and he doesn’t even know why that bugs him now.

“So… off to the next one?” Hen poked curiously.

“Off to the next one,” Buck affirmed.

Just like after every other date, Buck showed up at Eddie's door again this evening. This time though, Eddie wasn't expecting him.

He started steeling himself for when Buck inevitably would not ring his doorbell halfway through the night to do nothing with him.

Eddie was more nervous while waiting for Buck (and wasn’t that telling, that he was _waiting_ for him instead of going along with evening plans of his own) than he has been during any of the other dates Buck has been on throughout the last few weeks. Maybe it was because he realised last week that a new relationship for Buck would mean that their friendship would inevitably change. Maybe… maybe, just maybe he also realised something else last week. Something that he refuses to think about.

It didn’t matter anyway, he told himself whenever his thoughts start drifting into that territory. Dangerous territory.

It didn’t matter, because Buck had gone on a date with one man and was back to dating women now.

It didn’t matter, but Buck had dated one man, one single man, and Eddie’s brain went into overdrive.

Or well, some part of his body went into overdrive and he really wasn’t ready enough to contemplate which of the three most likely options it was.

“Fuck!” he muttered, sitting down on his couch, the couch he would much rather be sitting on with Buck than alone as he did now, and dragged his hands through his hair.  
 _Fuck_.

Eddie didn’t know if Buck was able to see that something was up when he finally arrived. He desperately hoped that his realisation couldn’t be seen on his face. Or in his body language. Or in his eyes, those traitors, that were currently losing themselves in the other man’s eyes.

Eddie tried to focus on his _best friend_ instead of his own very loud thoughts and matching heartbeat.

Buck definitely looked better than after the first dates. More relaxed. Less dejected. Less like he thought he’ll stay alone and become lonely. More like he wanted to make this dating thing work.

Eddie winced internally. Buck seemed like he wanted to continue going on dates. With women. _Who were not him._

And suddenly, that which he had looked forward to so much - Buck, next to him, on his couch, spending a relaxed evening - had become torture.


	5. Chapter 5

Eddie was determined to be calm about Buck's next date. He made a promise to himself about that and he meant to keep it.

But when he overheard Buck mentioning to Hen that he was meeting up with a man again that evening, Eddie knew that it would affect him more than he wanted.

He tried to calm his breath, tried to keep his mood from spilling over, from ruining Buck's mood as well.

So when Buck asked him, "You ok?" Eddie cursed himself, for not being able to push his feelings down as much as he'd like to.

"Yeah," he croaked out, trying to smile reassuringly. "Everything's fine, don't worry."

Buck cocked his eyebrows in disbelief but didn't press and Eddie cursed himself again. Because his best friend, that he was apparently in love with, knowing when he really wants to be left alone with an issue, just strengthened his heart in its belief of having made the right choice of falling for Buck. And currently it seemed he had to fight his body from giving more control away from his brain to his heart.

"How was your date?" Eddie asked carefully, later that night, when they were sitting on his couch again and for some reason eating ice cream. Eddie supposed that this meant it probably hadn’t go that well, but he still had to ask.

Buck shrugged, “Still not what I was searching for.”

 _In a man_ , Eddie’s brain provided again, and that difference, that small addition of _in_ , made all the difference.

He sighed and watched his best friend spoon the ice cream into his mouth, contemplating if he could have a chance. Not now, as Buck was obviously not interested in dating him if he’s using dating apps, but one day, when he inevitably gave up on trying to date random people on the internet. Or, well, scratch the inevitable part, that was just Eddie’s wishful thinking.

“Soo,” Buck drawled as he set his bowl down on the coffee table, “you seem to be better than this morning, you wanna talk to me about what that was about?”

Eddie sighed and stretched, “Not really,” he replied apologetically. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“You didn’t,” Buck assured him, “I was just worried about you is all.”

Eddie laughed, “That’s exactly what I didn’t want you to do. You had a date, I wanted you to enjoy it and the last thing you needed was to be worrying about me.”

He looked down at his hands but Buck searched for his gaze and made it impossible for him to look away.

“You know I would stay in with you, or Christopher, if you needed me, right?” Buck kept on holding eye contact, trying to make Eddie understand his words. “I would stay home from any of those dates for you two.” And then, to lighten the mood: “They are only first dates, right?”

Eddie smiled recalling their conversation before Buck’s first OKCupid date, “Yeah, they are only first dates.” _But at one point they won’t be anymore_ , he thought bitterly, _at some point you will find someone you will want to stick around_.

Losing himself in his thoughts, Eddie missed Buck observing him, taking in the way he was tensing, the crease between his eyebrows, the colour of his eyes...


	6. Chapter 6

Eddie hears Buck’s car pull up in front of his driveway and looks up from where he’s currently cutting bell pepper to glance at the clock. Then he glances outside, and sure enough it’s not dark yet.

Meaning: it’s way too soon for Buck to be back from his date. Even the shorter ones.

Hell, it’s even too soon for Buck’s date to have started.

Eddie pauses. _No_ , he is pretty sure Buck mentioned having a date tonight.

Setting the knife down and washing his hands, he wills the hope that flares up in his stomach to retreat back to where it came from. But it just curls up into a small ball, as small as Eddie is able to will it, and stays there.

He strolls over to the door, opens it, and his breath hitches at the sight.

Buck is dressed up again, like Eddie had seen him a few weeks back when he left the station in that dress shirt and dark jeans and… it might be a different shirt (still a dress shirt though), but now that Eddie is aware of how he is feeling about his best friend those jeans are doing things to him and he has to fight the urge to just close the door in his face to be able to breathe.

Instead, he steps aside and leans on the door, just enough for Buck to be able to pass through if he wanted to, but not so much as to suggest Eddie expects him to come in if he doesn’t plan to.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asks and tries (and fails) to sound casual. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?”

Buck smiles, “I thought I’d come by before I’m heading there. Can I come in for a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Eddie turns to let him through, “if you’re ok with sitting in the kitchen. I was cooking.”

Buck grins at him. “I can help.”

Eddies heart leaps in his chest.

“If I give you something to cut you’re gonna eat all of it and not be hungry anymore for your date,” he goes for a teasing tone, even though he feels like dying, “and I don’t wanna be the reason your date doesn’t work out.”

Buck laughs at that but it’s not a relaxed laugh. Eddie pricks up at the sound. He studies his best friend, taking in how his shoulders are suddenly tense, _no_ , his whole posture tensed, a look on his face that Eddie can’t decipher.

 _Weird_ , he thinks.

“You look tense, are you nervous about your date again? I thought you were over that?” Eddie tries to lighten the mood and instead startles a surprised choke out of Buck.

“Everything alright?” Eddie asks, feeling like he’s missing something. The real reason why Buck came here before the date, maybe.

“Yeah,” Buck nods, his eyes never leaving Eddie’s face, “just -- just give me something to do.” 

Eddie gives him the tomatoes he swore just before that he wouldn’t, then turns around to get him a knife and cutting board.

They work together in relative silence and Eddie thinks it should be calming, the routine processes of cooking, maybe distract him. But that can’t work, Eddie is aware, when he’s constantly looking at Buck, observing, hoping that whatever it is that’s on his mind, that he’s gonna breach the subject himself without Eddie having to ask for it.

But Buck doesn’t say what’s on his mind. All he’s doing is standing in his kitchen in his fucking nice clothes, those damn jeans, cooking with him ( _all domestic, cause this is not the first time they are doing this, besides the nice clothes_ ) and catching the glances he throws at him, smiling at him. Small, shy smiles. Private ones.

And Eddie is sure now, that every part of his body is reacting in overdrive to this situation. His brain wants to keep Buck here, his heart wants to tell Buck how he feels, and his dick… wants to press Buck against the counter, kiss him heatedly, slide his palms under that fucking nice dress shirt of his, feel Buck’s hands around his neck and… ok, he’s seriously getting off the point here.

The point is that Eddie finds himself daydreaming about his best friend who will leave him to go to his date in… He glances at the clock … half an hour, maximum.

He can cope under normal circumstances, he learned to do that over the last few weeks, but today, today Eddie cannot handle it at all.

Buck starts fiddling with the potato peeler in his hands while Eddie is manning the pan, and Eddie thinks he’s either getting more nervous before his date or picking up on his distress.

“When do you have to leave?” Eddie asks, and he knows it’s not casual, he knows Buck will pick up on it.

Buck snaps the peeler to a halt, before directly picking up the twiddling motion again, “Ten minutes, I guess.” The way he draws the words out and looks at his feet should be an indicator to Eddie of -- of something and he’s disappointed in himself that he apparently doesn’t know his best friend well enough to figure that out.

They continue cooking, quietly and calmly, in a way that is contradictory to the way neither of them is calm at all until Buck looks at the clock and practically sprints towards the door.

 _Okay_ , Eddie thinks, _okay_.

But he follows him to the door, and he opens it and he lets Buck step out of his house. And Buck, Buck is standing on the steps in front of the door. He has apparently exchanged the potato peeler for his car keys because now he’s fiddling with _them_ instead.

Eddie stares at the keys for a few seconds, slightly hypnotised by the movement of Buck’s hands, before lifting his gaze up to the contemplative face of his best friend. Buck holds his gaze shortly before averting his eyes and a blush creeping up his cheeks and, _oh_ , Eddie thinks.

“I -- I think I need to go,” Buck says slowly. Eddie can do nothing more but nod dumbly.

And then he sees him go, his best friend, the man that he’s in love with...

Buck is grabbing the handle of the driver’s seat door and before Eddie is able to think, he blurts out, “Or you could just stay here?”

Buck turns around, surprise mixed in his face with something else and damn, does Eddie want to know what that something else is.

“You could stay here,” Eddie clarifies before he backpedals and dies in shame at his outburst. He’ll go through with it now, “with me. I made enough food for tomorrow, so we could just -- eat it all today. Share it.”

“What happened to _I don’t wanna be the reason your date doesn’t work out_?” Buck teases him, but carefully, a slight flicker of hope in his voice, but also insecurity. And it gives Eddie the push to be honest.

He pushes the air out of his nose. “Actually, I’d very much like to be the reason this particular date doesn’t work out,”

Buck laughs and Eddie notices, with relief, that it’s a genuine one, a relaxed one this time.

“And why is that?” Buck grins, taking a few steps back towards the house he just left. Eddie thinks he might be flirting. He licks his suddenly dry lips.

“Because I would like you to stay for a date with me instead." Eddie holds his breath. His heart is beating loudly in his chest and he fears it might explode if Buck doesn't react soon.

Buck doesn't seem to be hasty in giving an answer, he's taking his phone out of his pocket, tapping and typing.

Eddie furrows his brows, confused. It's not yes, but he hasn't really said no either…

"What are you doing?" he asks and is surprised by how out of breath he sounds.

Buck grins up at him, "Telling my date I won't be coming." He locks his phone again and slides it back into his pocket. "I'd also rather go on a date with you."

"Why didn't you just ask me then?" Eddie can't help but ask.

"'Cause I didn't know," Buck shrugs, "I didn't realise that's what I wanted. But when I went on that first Grindr date, I caught myself thinking, _This is nice. But it's not Eddie_. But you were so supportive of me dating that I was sure you weren't interested in me like that. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But you -- you started getting weird when I went to the next dates, so I thought maybe -- just maybe, you wanted me too. But I was too afraid to ask for it myself."

Eddie thinks he understands now. "So you came here before your date in the hope that I would ask you to stay instead."

Buck smiles sheepishly, "I started looking forward more to the part of the evening where I would lounge on your couch with you instead of the actual date. And it worked!" Buck winks.

Eddie laughs, "Come in. Before the dinner gets cold."

Buck passes him again, their shoulders brushing against each other in the hallway, and sits down at the kitchen table before standing up again and setting the table as well as taking two beers out of the fridge.

As he watches Buck bustle through the kitchen, knowing where everything is, domestic, Eddie smiles to himself. He can have this.

Buck catches his smile and asks, "What are you thinking about, handsome?"

"You," Eddie says and Buck's grin spreads wider.

"Is Christopher with your abuela?"

Eddie nods and Buck keeps grinning.

So if the evening _does_ end up with Eddie pressing Buck against the kitchen counter, his lips on those of his best friend, his hands under his shirt, Buck's arms around his neck… nobody but them would know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [ToughPaperRound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound), [Frazzled-bi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/costallee/pseuds/Frazzled-Bi) and reluhforrd for looking over my fic, especially for helping me figure out the tenses and American punctuation <3


End file.
